10 Warning Signs You May be a People-Pleaser

It’s normal, even noble, to care for others. But how do you tell the difference between normal caring and being a people pleaser? When do you know you’ve crossed the line? Here are some of the more common danger signals.

Are you a People-Pleaser? Take this quiz and find out!

1. I’m frequently tired because I’m doing things for other people beyond my energy limits.
   
2. I’m using food for comfort and gaining weight.
   
3. I spend a lot of time wondering if it will ever be “my turn” in life to follow my dreams.
   
4. I often delay doing things for myself because I have obligations to others that I believe must come first.
   
5. I never take time for myself, or if I do, I feel guilty about it.
   
6. I’m afraid to say how I really feel, even though it is to my detriment, because I don’t want to upset other people.
   
7. I deprive myself of things I really need in order to spend money on other people.
   
8. I’m not getting enough sleep at night because I’m worried about others.
   
9. I have trouble identifying my needs. 
   
10. My doctor has told me to slow down for health reasons, but I feel I can’t afford to slow down because other people are depending on me.
    

SCORING:

How many times did you answer “yes” to the above questions?

1-3: You’re setting healthy boundaries, but you need to stay on guard.
3-5: You’re aware of your people-pleasing tendencies, but need to practice asserting yourself more. 
5-8: You’re in the Danger Zone. Be careful, or you’ll burn out.
8-10: Get some help! Immediately.

If you scored 5 or above, find your tribe at The Society for Recovering Doormats. Ivy Tobin, founder of The Society, has a new novel coming out called "My Life as a Doormat" about her alter ego, Rose Gardner. Check it out at http://www.facebook.com/TheSocietyForRecoveringDoormats. 

And, whatever you do, start taking better care of yourself. There’s hope.

@2014 Eleanor Brownn eleanorbrownn.com